Nurse Blogs

I can't quite figure out why people/family think because my eyes are open, my neurons are synapsing in sequence and I'm fully cognizant.  Maybe because I used to have to be when I worked the OR and was on call all the time.  Some of you know the drill, the phone rings at 1am, your feet are on the floor and you're heading for the bathroom where you left your clothes as you're reaching for the phone.  Then you're running out the door, shrugging into your coat if it's winter or buttoning up an article of clothing or both at the same time.  Then you're in the car, dry brushing your teeth, because you keep a toothbrush and toothpaste in your car console and you spit out the window, (hopefully the wind is not blowing into the car and you remember to roll down the window) driving hell bent for leather to get to the hospital to set up an "emergency" case.  Maybe you'll even remember to run a brush through your hair, but often why bother, you put a bonnet on anyway.  However, this was me on call, this was and is not me off call.  It is no longer my life and I choose not to wake up quickly unless the house is burning down or some other crisis is looming.  I sleep like the dead.  I admit this.  There is something satisfying about waking up slowly and in my own time frame.

Anyway back to just because my eyes are open does not mean I'm cognizant.  Don't ask me important questions and expect me to give an intelligent answer or to remember what you've asked me.  I am not responsible and now refuse to take responsibility for anything until I'm actually awake.  I tell my great nephew this all the time, but being 12, he "disremembers" and takes advantage.  He came into my bedroom and asked me for a raise in his allowance to $20/wk a week ago (somewhere around 730am) and apparently I said sure.  Well Friday rolled around and he was disappointed when I handed him his weekly pay of $10. After 5 minutes of tears, ranting and more tears, (pre-pubescent hormonal angst) he did not get his raise.   I didn't remember nor was I going to honor it. 

I fixed his cute little tush yesterday morning.  He was still soundly asleep, I poked him, he rolled over and blankly stared at me and I said........ remember to, unload the dishwasher, clean the litter boxes,  pick up your room, brush your teeth and hair, before you fire up the xBox or no allowance this friday.  Did he remember?  Not a chance.  Then again, he doesn't remember 5 seconds after you tell him something when he's awake.  So when I confronted him he said, That's not fair!  I wasn't awake.  I just stared at him and  then the proverbial light bulb turned on over his mass of dark brown, curly, long unbrushed hair covering his head.  It was so bright, I'm surprized his mass of tangled curls didn't catch fire.  I, however, made my point.

So the entire point to this rant is this...........just because someone's eyes are open, doesn't mean they're awake.